February 14th, the “dreaded” date has come and gone again. You may think to yourself, ugh.. yet another year has passed and here we are; still single. You may doubt yourself and start to ask questions like: Am I good/pretty/funny/smart/skinny enough? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not like the other girls? When is it my turn? Trust me, I’ve been there. I know how you feel to be in the single gals club. It can feel very lonely and get dark pretty fast. Maybe you’ve read all of the magazine’s and tried every single trick in the book just to try to get him to look at you. Maybe you tried changing certain aspects of you until you could hardly even recognize yourself anymore. Or maybe you’ve simply let yourself quietly wallow behind the scenes; wearing your heart on your sleeve while trying to hide behind a smile. It’s hard. Being single. – Because it can harden you in a way. When you were little, all you ever did was imagine what it would be like to find your very own version of Prince Charming. Except, he seems to have taken a detour to finding your heart. In that time, you may have relied solely on yourself so much that you are now independent and self-sufficient; guarding your heart away from those who try because you’ve been hurt so much in the past but those who have been foolish with your heart. Maybe you’ve been broken up with recently or in your mind you’ve thrown up your white flag screaming nothing just seems to work out right for me. While all of this may be true, dear single girl, you must see just how much more you are worth. How much you are loved. Even how much you can love yourself; on your own. It’s a tough pill to swallow as you see the many happy, loving couples around you. But, instead of laying around, growing bitter…Why not, spend today loving yourself. Pointing out all of the things you find beautiful about yourself. Emphasizing all of your strengths and healing all of your “flaws”. Spending time with your own heart, so that you can walk more confidently with your head held a little higher. Because you are amazing single gal and before anyone else can see that, you must believe that. Recognize that you have so much to offer the world and that you deserve to feel all the great things the world has to offer you in return. Know that this state of single-dom, while hard, is necessary. Allowing you to appreciate your relationship, (yes, relationship), all the more when the time is right. So in the meantime single gal, instead of moping; get out there and start loving yourself. Maybe even buy some chocolate and flowers while you’re at it. (Because who the heck ever said it was a requirement to be in a relationship for a gal to enjoy flowers and chocolate, after all it is national discounted chocolate day!)
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Picture This.
Dad's yelling. Mom's depressed. Sister's always away trying to start her own life. Glass is shattered on the floor. You're sitting here. Alone, Confused, A bit Sad, Too Young, Processing. Or at least, trying to. I try to make sense of the things in which happen around me. I realize I may never make sense of them. But, I also realize that's okay. Thing's don't always start off on the right foot. I'm at a pivotal moment in my life. We all are; with us being in our twenties and such. Truly, when aren't we though.. everything we do matters whether we realize it or not. How about this... Depressed. Anxious. Seemingly More Confused. Dark. Silent. Whew.. who turned the A/C on, because it just got a bit chilly in here, am I right? While I won't drone on with all the details.. let's just say, that while light at the end of the tunnel is possible, there's still so much debris and graffiti left in there on your way. To say that I've found that light just yet would probably be an overstatement. But, I'm staying a bit more optimistic these days. Let's try on: Heartbroken. Lost in Love and Better for It? I recently decided to let someone go who I've given approximately: Too Much of my Time. Though hard, I'm finding that I've been looking over a lot of different and maybe even better possible options right there in front of me. So much so that I even am finding that I've been viewing him through the rose-colored glasses of shoulda-coulda-woulda's for so long that I've forgotten to think about how he may fits into my future. Don't get me wrong, in a relationship.. changing that pronoun from my future to our future is super important. However, I was holding on to someone I made up in my head.. a version of ourselves from years ago instead of present day. It's funny how you can lie to yourself when you want something so badly. Truth is.. I wasn't as strong before I met him and I appreciate him for helping me grow in this way. We're different people now, it's true. Our lives are going in different directions. But, while our chapter is closing, the best of friends surely for always. Now Picture This. Optimistic. Cheerful. Full of Life and Pursuing Her Truest Version of Herself. Writing is cathartic for me, therapeutic even. It's how I try to make things feel alright. I'll let you in on a secret about me. I write when I'm overwhelmed, sad, but never actually when I'm happy. Something about that has never felt right to me. When I'm happy, I try to spend every moment experiencing that joy because it's fleeting. Why would I want to bog down my happiness with a chore that can be so time consuming. Though, since I write when I'm upset...typically the words just flow from me. That's when I do my best work. I enjoy writing because it calms me down, forces me to think vertically. I'm typically a scatterbrained person- always never wanting to miss out on something; constantly analyzing. But, that's what's so special about writing. It's the only thing that slows me down, helping me make connections between all the broken parts of me. To be honest, I don't have a plan just yet. But, in my opinion.. planning is a waste of time. Life always seems to have another one, with a habit of blowing you to exactly the place you need at the right time. Key is, you just have to let it. While I haven't mastered this yet, as I admit I do like certainty and control, I'm learning to let go of it. And I'm hoping you'll help me in my journey. Building me up when I get knocked down. Praying with me when there's seemingly no way out. Loving me when I am being the most stubborn. Shining a light on me, so that I can shine that light on others. All in the blissfully intrinsic pursuit of finding ourselves. So, I leave you with the question.. broken glass? Or just in need of a new frame. It's all simply just about perspective. -Best wishes for now, xoxo. Hi friends! So, I figured for my last post of the year, I would send out a little dedication to just a few of the many, many people who continue to make my life bright! So without further ado: Out with the old & In with the new: Here's to the highlights of my year in review! Easter with my sister! I don't always get to see her much anymore so when we're all back together again.. it's always a wonderful & blessed time. Volunteering at a local animal shelter for the first time! This little guy, Gizmo, is blind in one eye and only has 3 legs. Regardless, I instantly fell in love with him. It was such a rewarding day that I hope to rescue a shelter dog myself someday. Spring Cotillion with these lovely ladies from the "block" I live in at my college. If you can believe it; we're probably about 18 in number & that's only counting the girls! Also, we have this knack for staying in touch with each other at literally almost all times. You could say we're pretty impressive. Meet Lisa! No, no.. not me.. the other Lisa! She's basically my other half and together we make Lisa^2. Fun fact: She's actually a twin! As I've mentioned in earlier posts... Life is basically not complete without Chipotle runs. Or stops at Starbucks.. especially with one of your best friends! Poll: Doesn't everyone get this excited when they arrive at Starbucks? Correction: SHOULDN'T everyone be this excited when they arrive at Starbucks? Me with some of my gals on the first day of our Junior Year! Meet Ms. Stewart! I say Ms. Stewart because she's going to be the teacher of my future children! I know we're holding balloon animals here.. but, in all actuality I should be holding an apple and she a ruler. What, I get out of line sometimes? Someone has to keep me in check, haha. Ya know how I mentioned that me & my friends, family.. always have a way of staying in touch. Here's a picture of us having a Sunday brunch just like if we were at school during the summertime! Note: Some of us pictured here even live in a different state. If that's not love.. I don't know what is?! Now, the lovely lady pictured to the left of me is named Julie! She's been my best friend since we were in second grade and I'm blessed that I get to say that she'll be friends with me for the rest of forever. On the right side of me, is a beautifully strong and talented girl named Bethany with pipes that won't wait! I just know that she's going to make it big one day and I can't wait to come to all of her shows on the big stage. I'll never forget musical try-outs and hearing this freshman come along and school every last single one of us. I remember I needed to just know who this wonderful voice belonged to.. & thus our friendship was born! Fun fact: Bethany was Cosette in the Geyer Performing Arts production of Les Miserables! So, our best-friendship lies somewhere between the "What Do You Mean" - Justin Bieber song.. and a "Best Friend "by Jason Mraz song. So I guess that means our fire new mixtape would be called What Do You Mean Best Friend?? Haha... Meet Brenna! She's one of the dearest people to my heart and we're two peas in a pod..or just one pea, due to the fact that we're literally the same person. Whether it's losing track of time and staying up until the next morning talking, needing someone else to help me make that $15 minimum when ordering out, or when it comes down to just having a spontaneous all-out dance party. Trust me, if you have a Brenna, you most certainly have all you'll ever need to make your day just a bit brighter for the rest of forever! Fun Fact: Brenna was the first person I ever met at my campus by happenstance & the rest is history! (P.S.: The universe is on our side again Brenster.. Best Friend came on as soon as I got to you!) This was taken as part of Brenna and I's nature walk.. that just so happens to double as a short-cut to DQ! Now, I'll be the first to tell you that I suck at bowling. Always have.. but I definitely never pass up a chance to have fun even if it means making a fool of myself. Or in this case; bowling a fool of myself. Here's a picture of me the first time I went to the pumpkin patch! Never met a pumpkin I didn't like Remember the mysterious girl in that picture above of us at our second home.. also called Starbucks. That was Sarah! Check out her fashion & lifestyle blog here! What do you get when you combine Waldo, a robber, a housewife, and 1/3 of snap, crackle, and pop? I actually don't know..please, feel free to leave a comment below if you think of an answer. Just a bunch of us halloweenies! Meet Samantha! I've know her since middle school and don't ya know she followed me to college. Here are a few pics of our exploration around our beautiful campus! Here's a pic of me & some of my best friends since the beginning: Alexandra, Brenna, and Sarah at our school's Light Up Night! Last but not least, this picture is from our blocks "Secret Santa" night!
So there ya have it.. this has been my year in review! I want to say to those pictured and even those not pictured.. that you bless my life everyday in ways I can't explain. I can't thank you all enough for all you do & just know that I wouldn't want to spend my time with anyone else! To all my readers out there, I hope your year was as wonderful as mine and that the new year brings you many blessings. ~Here's to 2016~ |
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